For the last few months I have been suffering terribly with self doubt and lack of confidence. It's been horrible and it's something I try and hide, only confiding in a few trusted friends. It's resulted in me getting really anxious and panicky. I've never wanted to blog about it, because it's ugly and I only want to fill this blog space with beautiful things.
I find it hard to let go of anything, to admit I'm not coping to me is a sign of failure. You see I love my job and I'm quite good at it, I love being a mum and think I'm quite good at that job too, but somewhere between trying to be good at everything I am putting myself under such pressure and losing. I feel like Wurzel Gummidge with different heads for all the different 'Emma's' I need to be!
In admitting my feelings to my husband, my friends, I have had to let go. Let go of perfection. Let go of my stubborn pride. Let go of trying to be the best mum. Let go of caring so much of what other people think of me. It's hard and this is just the first step.
This post is part of the Let it Go Project: a collection of stories leading up to a beautiful releasing ritual, hosted by Sas Petherick on the 30th of January. All the details for this free event are here. And you can take part! Be inspired by other posts in this project, and share what you are ready to let of of on the Let it Go Project Community Page!